They say you don't know how far you are until you reflect on how far you've come...or something like that. Hell, I don't even know who "they" are but I know someone said something similar. Either way I figured I'd take a few blogs to reflect back on how I got to this point in my life.
I guess it all starts with my type, the specific type of man I find myself attracted to. I remember my first crush, I was in elementary school and his name was Bobert*. I liked him because he reminded me of my Dad. He was tall, blond hair, and Caucasian - I like white boys. That's really the only reason I liked him, I don't mean sexually, its not weird for little girls/boys to like someone that reminds them of their parents-look it up. Long story short all the boys that followed Bobert were similar a.k.a - white (Ashley, Matt, Matt, and Matt - I guess that was a popular name when I grew up.) Don't get me wrong there was one or two guys that were of different ethnicity but predominately I liked my men tall, blond-ish, and white. As I got older I liked the skater boys and musicians. I pictured myself bare foot and pregnant, married to a rock star/skate boarder: Mrs. Nick Hexum (from 311).
My first major boyfriend was Tris. We had a class together Jr year of High School. He sat in front of me and I fell in "like." He listened to loud music, drove a blue mini van, played tennis, was a skater, and smoked. Our class together was right before lunch and some how our little flirtation began when we started a competition to race each other to Taco Bell. As soon as the lunch bell rang we would run out to our cars, wait for our friends to hop in, then race downtown. Oddly there were never any words exchanged it was just something we did. Finally I got up the courage one day to talk to him. During 7th period I was hanging out in the parking lot with some friends and he had just pulled up next to me. He didn't get out of his car, just rolled down the window and waited for his friends to get out of class. I walked over and said "so do you always sit in your car alone and listen to music?" (Yes, I remember exactly what I said.) Thus began our relationship. Very quickly we became bf &gf. Every month he would bring me a gift for our anniversary. Six months later we were discussing moving to San Diego (where he would go to college), getting married, and having kids - we even picked out our kids names. Hell, we even picked out what kind of cars we would have and the house we would buy. I really truly thought I was going to marry Tris but looking back our paths weren't meant to be. He was very ambitious, he knew where he was going, and what he was doing with his life. Tris got into UCSD and wanted to be a Pediatrician. Me, I didn't even take my SAT's. I had no plans for college because I was going to be a stay at home Mom. In the end we grew apart, though I do think that we could have been one of those couples who were high school sweethearts if only I had kept up my end of the ambition. Tris just got married last year, is working on getting his PH.d and doing cancer research at UCLA. That guy is going to save the world.
My next love came three years later. I was going to school at American River JC, working at Macy's, and spending most of my time either at dive bars in downtown Sac or local music shows. My coworker, Nic, and I went to SF and got (really really) fake ID's so we could go to the same bars as the guys in the bands we were hanging out with. Nic was from Elk Grove and her neighbor hung out with the same crowd we did. One night we were hanging out at the usual spot, Benny's, when Mason showed up with Nic's neighbor. He was four years older, played guitar, lived in Lodi with his parents, went to school at S.J Delta, and worked with his Dad-not exactly ambitious like Tris but I was looking for something different I suppose. I wasn't immediately attracted to him as I was currently crushing on the bass player of Shortie, Kyle. By the second or third time we all hung out Mason asked for my number. I happily gave it to him, Kyle was a lost cause, and said "don't wait three days to call me." You see, Swingers had just come out and it wasn't unusual for the crowd we were with to be super slutty (not that Nic and I were). So my comment was very realistic, either call me or don't, if you don't peace! He got the hint and called me the next morning. Our relationship started out slow, he was older and lived "far away." A year after we started dating he decided to attend UOP and get his degree in Music Therapy. By this time Mason and I were talking marriage, something he claimed he had never thought of until dating me, and since he was moving even father away from Davis I figured I could transfer to UOP as well. I was taking classes at Sac City JC and had enough credits for two or three AA degrees. I knew that I needed to transfer ASAP because Mason's Music Therapy major was filled with more women than men and I didn't like that the women had taken him under their wing. He was always studying with a group of girls, a red flag that never left even when I transferred to UOP. It was the middle of my second semester that my suspicions had finally caught up with me. Mason broke up with me after a weekend conference spent with Cannie. They are now married, have their own business, and have a children's band similar to Peter, Paul and Mary. He was an amazing musician and I'm sure he has helped many children.
By the time Mason and I broke up I had been at UOP for a few months, had joined a sorority, and moved into the house. This really was perfect timing because I had a bunch of friends to comfort and distract me, my roommate was even going through a similar situation as her and her bf had just broken up. This was also around the time that I had met Ryan.
Clearly my life would be very different if I had ended up with Tris or Mason. But lucky for me I could never be a Dr's wife, sharing my husband with sick people isn't something I envy in others, and because I'm tone deaf I wouldn't be able to play in a band, I'm too old to be a groupie. The way I see it we are all with the right people and happy with the path we are on.
*some names have been changed to protect the innocent*
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