Looking back, Part 3: My Husband

As I have mentioned previously, Ryan and I met at college. He was a 4th year Engineering student who was paid to do dishes for the sorority I had just joined as a transfer student.  I really didn't pay much attention to him at first. He was dating one of my sisters and being of Spanish-Mexican decent he was not my type (see previous blog). But all the ladies loved him, I remember they would all give him hugs and fawn over him*. Don't get me wrong he is very cute, has a tight butt, and an athletic build. Oh and he is nice, smart, mature, and funny. A great catch.

So here I am, second semester, my bf and I just broke up, in a house with my new friends - who are also single. Time to party, right? That is nearly impossible to do with people other than your fraternity friends. After a few months of fun Ryan and I found ourselves hanging out in the same circle. It really didn't take long for Ryan and I to discover that we have similar personalities that meshed well together. That summer Ryan would be leaving for a nine month internship three hours away. We talked on the phone regularly for a while and then we began casually dating.

Let me back up because Ryan is nothing like I would have pictured myself with. Ryan grew up in Stockton, he has two sisters, attended a high school that was fitted with razor wire - but offered the GATE program he was enrolled in, was in a gang - for a second, possibly sold drugs, worked throughout high school at McDonald's, he is very athletic (football, baseball, wrestling, rugby), he was nice to everyone and as such no one had (or has) anything bad to say about him, he was in a fraternity, AND his nickname was Truck (who honestly has that for a nickname?!) Clearly the type of guy I was attracted to wasn't working out so I convinced myself that I should just take a chance, like I had with everything else I'd done at college.

Those nine months seemed to go on forever. Every weekend we would switch off driving the six hours, round trip, to see each other. It was nice because during the week I had plenty of time to do school work and spend time with my friends. It was also great because he was already friends with all of mine so when he was in town he was always invited to hang out with the girls.

Within those first nine months of dating we began to talk marriage. We even went ring shopping a few weeks before Christmas.  I found one I really liked but we were "just looking" figuring we'd get engaged after the holidays when he'd move back to Stockton for our last semester. I'd be leaving for Carmel that Christmas Eve and he would join me on the 26th. I thought he was just coming to meet my family and spend some vacation time with me. He had already met my parents and my Mom's side of the family - they loved him. In fact the day my Mom and Aunt met Ryan we were on our way to the movies, I had just gotten into the car and my Mom called me. She said "Your Auntie C and I like Ryan very much and we think you'll make cute babies." Gee, she didn't wait long! I'll also add that was month one or two of dating.

Back to Christmas: The plan was for him to arrive just before our big post-Christmas dinner at Granny's house. He called me when he left Stockton to let me know he was on the road, I think he was running late, and that the ring we picked out had been sold. Mom and I were knee deep in "after Christmas sales" and I remember briefly being sad that he didn't get a ring which meant an engagement might be farther away than we had discussed. Anyway, Ryan got to Carmel in time for dinner and schmoozing with my family. After dinner the cousins typically do dishes and Ryan jumped in with everyone else (to this day he can do dishes better than anyone, he has a very specific system. Its all that sorority experience). For some strange reason we decided to do the dishes in the back house (there are two houses at Grans, one in the front, for Auntie Kate, and one in the back, for Gran) after we had just eaten in the front house. As I was drying off the last of the dishes I noticed the other cousins had left and Gran's cd player was on. Ryan had just come inside and was trying to tell me something. I was too busy trying to turn off the cd player, but where the hell was it and why was it playing "Your Song" (which happens to be our song.) Finally I found the damn thing and switched it off. Ryan grabbed my arm and lead me onto the patio, he got down on one knee and started saying something to me. Oh Crap! This is it! He's freaking proposing! I remember crying and laughing because my Dad had forgotten his one job was to put some flowers out for me and we caught him sneaking onto the patio to put them out-mid proposal. Of course I said yes. Ryan and my Mom had been talking and planning the big proposal for a few weeks. It was all very sweet and I was totally surprised.

The BIG day 9/3/05

We've been married almost 6 years now and though marriage is a huge adjustment, as is living with someone 24/7, I can honestly say that Ryan is the perfect partner for me. He allows me to be me - aside from being a mother, wife, chef, party planner, and accountant. He always encourages me and gives me space to grow. As a matter of fact he completely indulges me and my silly ideas or plans for our next life together (be on the look out bc in life #2 we will be in Vegas! He will be a famous athlete and I'll be an actress or singer.) We make a great team, as partners and parents. I'm very lucky to have him.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times where we've had our disagreements. In the beginning we had a lot of drama, especially if there was alcohol involved. And once we were married we had to deal with his crazy work schedule (I didn't mind graveyard or split shifts when we didn't have a kid but having a zombie as a parent is SUPER frustrating!) But as the years have gone by we've figured out how to make it all work - day shift, less booze (well maybe not LESS), and multiple tv's in the house.


We have big plans for our future together. My favorite includes a tour of the US via food network restaurant suggestions followed by a three month European vacation - after we ship the kids off to college of course.


* I still have to fight off the hoe's tryin to take my man. In fact just last week while we were on vacation Dad and Ryan played golf with a couple and the woman was flirting with him...IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND! Lucky for her I wasn't there to kick her ass AND she bought him a beer - POINT RYAN!