We are on the home stretch (at least that's how I choose to look at it)! Only 7 more weeks to go and let me tell you, they can't go by fast enough. It has gotten to the point where there is no more room for Cash to grow or move without kicking a hole in my abdomen. He is truly moving from the time I wake up until after I am long asleep. Don't get me wrong, this is a good sign (at least for me it means I don't have to keep a "Kick Count Card" for the Dr.) But it is unbelievably distracting, uncomfortable, and...amazing.
It's distracting/uncomfortable when:
I'm sitting at my computer and he kicks me so hard I jerk in my seat.
I'm driving on the freeway and it feels like he is scratching on my uterus, literally clawing his way out.
I just went to the bathroom and he kicks me so hard I have to pee again.
I can't be comfortable in any position other than in bed on my side.
I eat a banana and can't breathe because my organs are squished up in my ribs.
I have to wear pants...seriously, screw the elastic waist band. I'm over it.
And it's truly amazing when:
He kicks as I'm talking to him. Almost as if he is responding.
Ryan or Jake can feel him moving around. (sometimes when I'm cuddling with Jake he says "Cashew kicked me in the leg!")
He kicks or moves to the radio, keeping perfect time with the song.
You can see him moving/kicking/synchronized swimming. (It's like that scene from Alien/Spaceballs where that guy is in the diner and his stomach is moving all crazy, then he flops on the bar, and that alien rips out of his stomach...but not like that at all.)
I first started to feel Cash moving back in January, he hasn't stopped since. I don't remember Jake moving around this much. But really nothing about this pregnancy is similar to Jake's.
Even though I am (more than) ready for Cash to GET OUT! I will be patient and let him bake until he is good and ready. Until then I may need to move a futon into my office so I can get some work done.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Moving AND Nesting. I'm exhausted.
I am two weeks into my 8 months, and getting more uncomfortable as the days pass. At this point in many pregnancies, women are nesting (aka cleaning, shopping, organizing, and various other things to prepare for the baby). I, on the other hand, am moving.
We sold our house two years ago and moved into an extra large rental complete with high ceilings and a large front room perfect for indoor badminton, basketball, and baseball. Very inconveniently we received a note from our landlord that informed us they would be moving back in at the end of our lease: June 30. May I add that my due date is July 19! I have an acquaintance that moved weeks before her child was born and only by the skin of her nose did she get everything ready in time. Knowing this I asked that we move out the month before.
It's really hard to prepare for a rental months in advance. I've discovered that when a home is ready, the owner would rather rent to someone wanting to move that week, not in a month. Needless to say I stressed myself out looking for a house 30 days before move out. All the homes I looked at were either in the wrong area, too small, too big, the landlord asked too personal questions (i.e savings account/checking account/credit card info), or it just didn't feel right. I finally found a house that was a good size, reasonable rent, in a good area, and had a pool! But I quickly talked myself out of it because the master bed was downstairs and the other 3 beds were upstairs. How was that going to work with a 3 year old and baby?! I figured I'd keep looking and put that house on the back burner. 3 (very stressful) weeks later and many searches on Craigslist I decided to go with the first house. So far, I couldn't be happier with my decision.
This was by far the easiest move we've ever had. And I'm not just saying that because I'm pregnant and unable to lift anything. We hired movers (best decision ever!) who allowed me to unpack and clean as we went. I'm happy say that we are completley moved in...that is, except for the baby's room. One step at a time.
We sold our house two years ago and moved into an extra large rental complete with high ceilings and a large front room perfect for indoor badminton, basketball, and baseball. Very inconveniently we received a note from our landlord that informed us they would be moving back in at the end of our lease: June 30. May I add that my due date is July 19! I have an acquaintance that moved weeks before her child was born and only by the skin of her nose did she get everything ready in time. Knowing this I asked that we move out the month before.
It's really hard to prepare for a rental months in advance. I've discovered that when a home is ready, the owner would rather rent to someone wanting to move that week, not in a month. Needless to say I stressed myself out looking for a house 30 days before move out. All the homes I looked at were either in the wrong area, too small, too big, the landlord asked too personal questions (i.e savings account/checking account/credit card info), or it just didn't feel right. I finally found a house that was a good size, reasonable rent, in a good area, and had a pool! But I quickly talked myself out of it because the master bed was downstairs and the other 3 beds were upstairs. How was that going to work with a 3 year old and baby?! I figured I'd keep looking and put that house on the back burner. 3 (very stressful) weeks later and many searches on Craigslist I decided to go with the first house. So far, I couldn't be happier with my decision.
This was by far the easiest move we've ever had. And I'm not just saying that because I'm pregnant and unable to lift anything. We hired movers (best decision ever!) who allowed me to unpack and clean as we went. I'm happy say that we are completley moved in...that is, except for the baby's room. One step at a time.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Looking back, Part 5 (the final chapter): Scheduling some offspring
I realize the irony in this blog title because most Mom's know that as much as you try to schedule your kids or your life after kids, s**t no longer happens the way you want anymore.
As you have probably gathered I ask my Mom for advice more often than not - or she gives it to me as I'm venting to her (this is more than fair because I vent to her on a weekly basis). And more often than not I take her advice - or kick myself for not taking it. Lucky for me she isn't an "I told you so kind of person" but that doesn't mean she doesn't like to bask in her rightness when I'm happy with the results of her advice. One (unsolicited) piece of advice that I remember her specifically telling me, at a young age, was that I needed to have at least one child before I turned 30. You see my parents had me at 27 then my brother arrived, 7 short years later. My Mom always said that she found herself more tired and worn out (especially with two kids) after her 30's. Since I had always planned to be bare foot and pregnant as a career, having a kid before 30 seemed reasonable to me. I also figured that if I had kids earlier I'd still be fairly young when they went to college, which would work out perfect because I'd still be young enough to keep up with grand kids PLUS I'd have money and time to travel! WINNING! Hopefully my future husband would agree with this plan...
After Ryan and I got married we decided to take a few years to hang out together, establish careers, and buy a house. After all we had been dating just over a year before getting hitched and we were fairly young at that point. I had also grown out of my "baby machine" phase. Two years later Ryan and I decided it was time to make a baby. I had read that when women go off the pill to start trying it could take anywhere from six months to a year before fertilization. Knowing this we ceased birth control December 2006. It took exactly six months (and a really crazy Cinco de Mayo party) before we got pregnant. Since it would be our first child we scanned the Chinese zodiac** to confirm our families compatibility. I knew that if we had a baby 2008, the year of the Rat, and one in 2010/2011 the whole family would be complete. We didn't mind what gender the baby would be since it was our first and as long as we could plan the second to be opposite then we would have hit the jackpot! (click here to see how that worked out for us.)
According to the "ancient Chinese gender chart" we would be having a boy! Baby Bean would be arriving February 2008. He was such an easy pregnancy, I honestly forgot that I was even pregnant half the time. I didn't have any weird cravings except the urge to eat hot fudge sundaes at every meal. If anything, I was sad that I couldn't eat my favorite foods: beer, sushi, and deli sandwiches. It was sort of ok with me because I had already placed my take out order with Ryan so that all three would be waiting for me as soon as I got home from the hospital. FYI future Mom's: I read that drinking beer helps release your milk supply if you are planning on breast feeding. Don't quote me on it but whatever helps, right?!
I think the hardest time I had with that pregnancy was picking a name. With this in mind I didn't have a name picked out but had narrowed down the list to: Jacob, Lucas, Benjamin, and Alexander. Some days I wonder what Jake would look like and if he would have a different personality if I picked Lucas....
For our second baby I had to plan more, especially if I wanted a girl. We wanted the kids to be closer in age but far enough apart so that they could have space from each other when they got to school. I was off the pill December 2009 but this time I had to be especially strategic if we wanted a girl. When you are 29/30 there are more boy months than girl months (of course!) so we tried really hard to get pregnant on the girl months. I even downloaded that stupid iphone application to tell me when I was fertile. It kind of takes the fun out of it but then again, this was business not recreation. We were getting to the end of the year and multiple pregnancy tests (and a crazy 30th birthday party) when finally, as luck would have it, we got pregnant!
It is so funny (and weird) to see your child as they grow up. Jake is such a mini version of both Ryan and myself that I'm really looking forward to what Baby Cash is going to look like and what kind of personality he's going to have. The more I think about it the more I'm looking forward to seeing my two boys grow up together. And after visiting with my midwife a few weeks ago, I'm more convinced that our family will be complete after Cash. But that could just be the hormones talking....
**It would probably help to know that I'm big on the Chinese Zodiac as well as the general Zodiac. When I was little and we'd go eat a Chinese food restaurant, one of my favorite things to do was figure out what everyone's sign was (with the help of that fun place mat.) I was born the year of the Monkey and I'm a Scorpio, two things that I believe explain me well. Ryan was born the year of the Dog and he's an Aries. Together we are a compatible match, I checked :)
*I should also let you know that I am not crazy, I just believe that if your signs explain who you are and who you are going to be then making sure your family matches well is reasonable. Of course you can't plan everything and just because you are all compatible doesn't mean you won't raise a serial killer...that's probably due to parenting as well. See so many things to think about when you have kids!
As you have probably gathered I ask my Mom for advice more often than not - or she gives it to me as I'm venting to her (this is more than fair because I vent to her on a weekly basis). And more often than not I take her advice - or kick myself for not taking it. Lucky for me she isn't an "I told you so kind of person" but that doesn't mean she doesn't like to bask in her rightness when I'm happy with the results of her advice. One (unsolicited) piece of advice that I remember her specifically telling me, at a young age, was that I needed to have at least one child before I turned 30. You see my parents had me at 27 then my brother arrived, 7 short years later. My Mom always said that she found herself more tired and worn out (especially with two kids) after her 30's. Since I had always planned to be bare foot and pregnant as a career, having a kid before 30 seemed reasonable to me. I also figured that if I had kids earlier I'd still be fairly young when they went to college, which would work out perfect because I'd still be young enough to keep up with grand kids PLUS I'd have money and time to travel! WINNING! Hopefully my future husband would agree with this plan...
After Ryan and I got married we decided to take a few years to hang out together, establish careers, and buy a house. After all we had been dating just over a year before getting hitched and we were fairly young at that point. I had also grown out of my "baby machine" phase. Two years later Ryan and I decided it was time to make a baby. I had read that when women go off the pill to start trying it could take anywhere from six months to a year before fertilization. Knowing this we ceased birth control December 2006. It took exactly six months (and a really crazy Cinco de Mayo party) before we got pregnant. Since it would be our first child we scanned the Chinese zodiac** to confirm our families compatibility. I knew that if we had a baby 2008, the year of the Rat, and one in 2010/2011 the whole family would be complete. We didn't mind what gender the baby would be since it was our first and as long as we could plan the second to be opposite then we would have hit the jackpot! (click here to see how that worked out for us.)
According to the "ancient Chinese gender chart" we would be having a boy! Baby Bean would be arriving February 2008. He was such an easy pregnancy, I honestly forgot that I was even pregnant half the time. I didn't have any weird cravings except the urge to eat hot fudge sundaes at every meal. If anything, I was sad that I couldn't eat my favorite foods: beer, sushi, and deli sandwiches. It was sort of ok with me because I had already placed my take out order with Ryan so that all three would be waiting for me as soon as I got home from the hospital. FYI future Mom's: I read that drinking beer helps release your milk supply if you are planning on breast feeding. Don't quote me on it but whatever helps, right?!
I think the hardest time I had with that pregnancy was picking a name. With this in mind I didn't have a name picked out but had narrowed down the list to: Jacob, Lucas, Benjamin, and Alexander. Some days I wonder what Jake would look like and if he would have a different personality if I picked Lucas....
 |
| Jacob Ryan born February 17, 2008. I just want to snuggle with him all the time! |
For our second baby I had to plan more, especially if I wanted a girl. We wanted the kids to be closer in age but far enough apart so that they could have space from each other when they got to school. I was off the pill December 2009 but this time I had to be especially strategic if we wanted a girl. When you are 29/30 there are more boy months than girl months (of course!) so we tried really hard to get pregnant on the girl months. I even downloaded that stupid iphone application to tell me when I was fertile. It kind of takes the fun out of it but then again, this was business not recreation. We were getting to the end of the year and multiple pregnancy tests (and a crazy 30th birthday party) when finally, as luck would have it, we got pregnant!
It is so funny (and weird) to see your child as they grow up. Jake is such a mini version of both Ryan and myself that I'm really looking forward to what Baby Cash is going to look like and what kind of personality he's going to have. The more I think about it the more I'm looking forward to seeing my two boys grow up together. And after visiting with my midwife a few weeks ago, I'm more convinced that our family will be complete after Cash. But that could just be the hormones talking....
**It would probably help to know that I'm big on the Chinese Zodiac as well as the general Zodiac. When I was little and we'd go eat a Chinese food restaurant, one of my favorite things to do was figure out what everyone's sign was (with the help of that fun place mat.) I was born the year of the Monkey and I'm a Scorpio, two things that I believe explain me well. Ryan was born the year of the Dog and he's an Aries. Together we are a compatible match, I checked :)
*I should also let you know that I am not crazy, I just believe that if your signs explain who you are and who you are going to be then making sure your family matches well is reasonable. Of course you can't plan everything and just because you are all compatible doesn't mean you won't raise a serial killer...that's probably due to parenting as well. See so many things to think about when you have kids!
Friday, May 6, 2011
New Mother's Day Tradition
The year I graduated High School was the same year my Aunt found out she had breast cancer. I remember the day of graduation was one of the first times she had gone out since her mastectomy. After months (years?) of chemo and radiation she went into remission. The cancer would eventually come back and metastasize in her hip, leg, and bones. Its been 13 years that she has been living with some sort of cancer, juggling doctors appointments and multiple medications. In that time she has never let it hold her back from going about her life. She has traveled to Maine, Scotland, England, and Florida. She has worked full-time over the years and has built a "Fan base" of clients that visit her often.
For years my cousin, my aunt, my mom, and I have been talking about participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure in Sacramento but we've never actually signed up until last year. We had so much fun that we decided to make it an annual Mother's Day tradition - complete with matching shirts!
So tomorrow I walk with my family for my aunt who is a cancer survivor. I know this journey hasn't been easy on her or the rest of my family but I am so grateful for the time we continue to have with her and the fun memories we create together.
For years my cousin, my aunt, my mom, and I have been talking about participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure in Sacramento but we've never actually signed up until last year. We had so much fun that we decided to make it an annual Mother's Day tradition - complete with matching shirts!
So tomorrow I walk with my family for my aunt who is a cancer survivor. I know this journey hasn't been easy on her or the rest of my family but I am so grateful for the time we continue to have with her and the fun memories we create together.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Looking back, Part 4: the unexpected career and my subsequent work spouse
I graduated with a "Self Designed" Bachelor of Arts in Art History and Film Studies. The reason it is "self designed" is because I transferred to UOP to major in Art History and upon enrollment they dropped that major (dammit!). Luckily they still offered all of the classes I needed, I just couldn't graduate with that specific degree. I'm sure you are thinking "why didn't you just change your major?" Well smarty, my philosophy at the time was "how the hell can I pick a major/career at 18 that's supposed to last me my entire life?!" So I was majorly indecisive (pun intended.)
I originally enrolled at American River JC to major in Culinary Arts, I wanted to be a chef. Then I realized that would mean working on weekends, late nights, and holidays - no thank you. When I transferred to Sacramento City JC I switched my major to Liberal Studies. My new career would be teaching elementary school! It wasn't long before I talked myself out of that too. I was worried that if I taught kids all day I'd never want my own. Ugh, true story.
SIDE NOTE: I have some friends in the K-12 business. They have some super funny/gross/uh-oh type of stories. So glad I don't have to be apart of those shenanigans.
I chose to major in Art History based on an elective I had taken at Sac City. I loved that class and I was good at it too. History isn't usually my forte but the art aspect of it is very personal. Its like reading a People magazine on one picture. And the best part is most of it is subject to interpretation! So more often than not if you know the art concepts you can interpret what the artist was trying to portray. Don't get me wrong, this subject isn't for everyone. In fact when I graduated college my Mom took me on a trip to Paris. I remember visiting the Pompidou (modern art museum). I was admiring a painting when I heard laughter in the next room. I walked in to find my Mom and Aunts laughing hysterically while galloping to the recorded sounds of horse hooves in that room. I was so embarrassed.
I stuck to my guns, I was going to keep what was left of my "major" and pay a pretty penny for myworthless self designed piece of paper...really I should have just switched majors. But I had just talked my parents into letting me go to this specific school for this specific major because I was going to be a MUSEUM CURATOR. Sounds fancy, huh? I thought so too. In all honesty I was only going to school to get a stupid degree to make them shut up and had no intention of using that degree in my career. My philosophy was if you are going to pay for college you may as well study a subject that you like (right?! Someone please tell me I'm on to something here.) Either way I did great, I rocked my classes and loved all my teachers. Looking back though I'd totally switch majors, probably to Psychology/Sociology or Business.
After graduation, Ryan got a job and we moved. He was hired as a manager for a manufacturing company. I was applying for odd jobs but since we were getting married that September I focused on wedding planning. (Why didn't anyone at college tell me that I should have been looking for a job my last semester?!) I found a job at a near by CSU, one that I had never heard of before, as an Administrative Assistant for Associated Students. I figured I could work and they would pay for my Masters degree (which I still haven't done). I had only worked there a short time before I realized that working at a college is a really sweet gig! It was a job BUT I still got to hang out with people my age and do all the fun college stuff. Homecoming? I worked it. Concerts? Worked that too. Free food days? You bet I worked/ate at those events! Honestly it was the best gig. After work we would all grab a drink or go to a party. Ryan was working "split shifts" at that time and he would occasionally meet up with us.
A year later I moved to a different office with the goal to become a student advisor for that department. I still got to do all the fun stuff but I was ready to hand over the office duties to someone else. One year after that I was hired as the Student Organization Advisor and Activities Coordinator. A few minor job duty tweeks and 3 years later I'm still at it. In the last month alone my job consisted of rowing a boat in the school pond, attending a dance competition, talking to students about a campus wide scavenger hunt, going to a memorial for a student (not so fun), eating free ice cream, and updating our website - that was done with my shoes off and my feet on an exercise ball. Sure there are good and bad parts to any day but for me it's bearable because I have an awesome work spouse.
Candy* is my work spouse, between the hours of 8am-5pm we are married to each other.
Here are the seven signs you have a work spouse:
1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks and aspirin.
2. There are inside jokes that you and a specific co-worker share.
3. You can be bluntly honest with this person about his or her appearance, hygiene or hair (and vice versa). You're comfortable enough to point out that the other's hair is sticking up -- or that someone's fly is down.
4. When something eventful happens at work, this co-worker is the first person you seek out for a de-briefing.
5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your closest co-worker knows what to order for you and how you like your coffee (and vice versa).
6. You and your co-worker can finish each other's sentences.
7. Someone in your office knows almost as much about your personal life as your best friend or real-life spouse does.
Our relationship didn't start off amazingly. At first I found Candy to be annoying, she is/was super friendly, cheery, and nosy. I guess you would think that she was just trying to make friends and get to know people in the office - I thought she was invading my turf. She is a 6'5", blond, from Stockton, who went to Auburn University to play volleyball, and she's a sorority girl. Put all that together and I didn't like her one bit. She slowly grew on me and after a while we became really close. Some days we will purposefully dress the same, I even bought us a set of matching letters. And last week we both wore the same thing - completely by accident. Honestly, that happens more often than not. We laugh at the dumbest things, spend the first hour on Mondays discussing our weekends, and vent to each other when stupid stuff happens at work/home. I was there when she got married and when she lost her Dad. She was there through both my pregnancies - I told her before I told my boss about Cash. We have been through three bosses, many student assistants, lots of late nights, and some hilarious days. Recently, its become a serious concern that our students think we are actually married to each other. To which we have to respond "no, and this is not our child." We make a great team. I'm afraid for the day when one of us doesn't work here anymore.
It never occurred to me that this could be a job. Could I do it forever? I don't think so. The older I get the farther away from this generation I feel. Students now need their hand to be held for everything, the majority of them aren't very resourceful and frankly I'm already raising one kid. I'm just enjoying this career while it lasts and seeing where it will take me. And luckily I have a great work spouse to share the craziness with.
*no joke but Candy was her parents first pick for their daughters name. Candace Darling. Luckily they didn't want a daughter who was a Dr. and moonlighted as a stripper so they renamed her. Shout out to Karen & David!*
I originally enrolled at American River JC to major in Culinary Arts, I wanted to be a chef. Then I realized that would mean working on weekends, late nights, and holidays - no thank you. When I transferred to Sacramento City JC I switched my major to Liberal Studies. My new career would be teaching elementary school! It wasn't long before I talked myself out of that too. I was worried that if I taught kids all day I'd never want my own. Ugh, true story.
SIDE NOTE: I have some friends in the K-12 business. They have some super funny/gross/uh-oh type of stories. So glad I don't have to be apart of those shenanigans.
I chose to major in Art History based on an elective I had taken at Sac City. I loved that class and I was good at it too. History isn't usually my forte but the art aspect of it is very personal. Its like reading a People magazine on one picture. And the best part is most of it is subject to interpretation! So more often than not if you know the art concepts you can interpret what the artist was trying to portray. Don't get me wrong, this subject isn't for everyone. In fact when I graduated college my Mom took me on a trip to Paris. I remember visiting the Pompidou (modern art museum). I was admiring a painting when I heard laughter in the next room. I walked in to find my Mom and Aunts laughing hysterically while galloping to the recorded sounds of horse hooves in that room. I was so embarrassed.
I stuck to my guns, I was going to keep what was left of my "major" and pay a pretty penny for my
After graduation, Ryan got a job and we moved. He was hired as a manager for a manufacturing company. I was applying for odd jobs but since we were getting married that September I focused on wedding planning. (Why didn't anyone at college tell me that I should have been looking for a job my last semester?!) I found a job at a near by CSU, one that I had never heard of before, as an Administrative Assistant for Associated Students. I figured I could work and they would pay for my Masters degree (which I still haven't done). I had only worked there a short time before I realized that working at a college is a really sweet gig! It was a job BUT I still got to hang out with people my age and do all the fun college stuff. Homecoming? I worked it. Concerts? Worked that too. Free food days? You bet I worked/ate at those events! Honestly it was the best gig. After work we would all grab a drink or go to a party. Ryan was working "split shifts" at that time and he would occasionally meet up with us.
A year later I moved to a different office with the goal to become a student advisor for that department. I still got to do all the fun stuff but I was ready to hand over the office duties to someone else. One year after that I was hired as the Student Organization Advisor and Activities Coordinator. A few minor job duty tweeks and 3 years later I'm still at it. In the last month alone my job consisted of rowing a boat in the school pond, attending a dance competition, talking to students about a campus wide scavenger hunt, going to a memorial for a student (not so fun), eating free ice cream, and updating our website - that was done with my shoes off and my feet on an exercise ball. Sure there are good and bad parts to any day but for me it's bearable because I have an awesome work spouse.
Candy* is my work spouse, between the hours of 8am-5pm we are married to each other.
Here are the seven signs you have a work spouse:
1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks and aspirin.
2. There are inside jokes that you and a specific co-worker share.
3. You can be bluntly honest with this person about his or her appearance, hygiene or hair (and vice versa). You're comfortable enough to point out that the other's hair is sticking up -- or that someone's fly is down.
4. When something eventful happens at work, this co-worker is the first person you seek out for a de-briefing.
5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your closest co-worker knows what to order for you and how you like your coffee (and vice versa).
6. You and your co-worker can finish each other's sentences.
7. Someone in your office knows almost as much about your personal life as your best friend or real-life spouse does.
Our relationship didn't start off amazingly. At first I found Candy to be annoying, she is/was super friendly, cheery, and nosy. I guess you would think that she was just trying to make friends and get to know people in the office - I thought she was invading my turf. She is a 6'5", blond, from Stockton, who went to Auburn University to play volleyball, and she's a sorority girl. Put all that together and I didn't like her one bit. She slowly grew on me and after a while we became really close. Some days we will purposefully dress the same, I even bought us a set of matching letters. And last week we both wore the same thing - completely by accident. Honestly, that happens more often than not. We laugh at the dumbest things, spend the first hour on Mondays discussing our weekends, and vent to each other when stupid stuff happens at work/home. I was there when she got married and when she lost her Dad. She was there through both my pregnancies - I told her before I told my boss about Cash. We have been through three bosses, many student assistants, lots of late nights, and some hilarious days. Recently, its become a serious concern that our students think we are actually married to each other. To which we have to respond "no, and this is not our child." We make a great team. I'm afraid for the day when one of us doesn't work here anymore.
 |
| Breast Cancer walk on campus |
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| Our 2009 Christmas Card |
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| We dressed up as dudes for a campus Drag Show |
 |
| Did you know that we have won TWO awards for our awesome team work?! Who'd have thought! |
It never occurred to me that this could be a job. Could I do it forever? I don't think so. The older I get the farther away from this generation I feel. Students now need their hand to be held for everything, the majority of them aren't very resourceful and frankly I'm already raising one kid. I'm just enjoying this career while it lasts and seeing where it will take me. And luckily I have a great work spouse to share the craziness with.
*no joke but Candy was her parents first pick for their daughters name. Candace Darling. Luckily they didn't want a daughter who was a Dr. and moonlighted as a stripper so they renamed her. Shout out to Karen & David!*
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Looking back, Part 3: My Husband
As I have mentioned previously, Ryan and I met at college. He was a 4th year Engineering student who was paid to do dishes for the sorority I had just joined as a transfer student. I really didn't pay much attention to him at first. He was dating one of my sisters and being of Spanish-Mexican decent he was not my type (see previous blog). But all the ladies loved him, I remember they would all give him hugs and fawn over him*. Don't get me wrong he is very cute, has a tight butt, and an athletic build. Oh and he is nice, smart, mature, and funny. A great catch.
So here I am, second semester, my bf and I just broke up, in a house with my new friends - who are also single. Time to party, right? That is nearly impossible to do with people other than your fraternity friends. After a few months of fun Ryan and I found ourselves hanging out in the same circle. It really didn't take long for Ryan and I to discover that we have similar personalities that meshed well together. That summer Ryan would be leaving for a nine month internship three hours away. We talked on the phone regularly for a while and then we began casually dating.
Let me back up because Ryan is nothing like I would have pictured myself with. Ryan grew up in Stockton, he has two sisters, attended a high school that was fitted with razor wire - but offered the GATE program he was enrolled in, was in a gang - for a second, possibly sold drugs, worked throughout high school at McDonald's, he is very athletic (football, baseball, wrestling, rugby), he was nice to everyone and as such no one had (or has) anything bad to say about him, he was in a fraternity, AND his nickname was Truck (who honestly has that for a nickname?!) Clearly the type of guy I was attracted to wasn't working out so I convinced myself that I should just take a chance, like I had with everything else I'd done at college.
Those nine months seemed to go on forever. Every weekend we would switch off driving the six hours, round trip, to see each other. It was nice because during the week I had plenty of time to do school work and spend time with my friends. It was also great because he was already friends with all of mine so when he was in town he was always invited to hang out with the girls.
Within those first nine months of dating we began to talk marriage. We even went ring shopping a few weeks before Christmas. I found one I really liked but we were "just looking" figuring we'd get engaged after the holidays when he'd move back to Stockton for our last semester. I'd be leaving for Carmel that Christmas Eve and he would join me on the 26th. I thought he was just coming to meet my family and spend some vacation time with me. He had already met my parents and my Mom's side of the family - they loved him. In fact the day my Mom and Aunt met Ryan we were on our way to the movies, I had just gotten into the car and my Mom called me. She said "Your Auntie C and I like Ryan very much and we think you'll make cute babies." Gee, she didn't wait long! I'll also add that was month one or two of dating.
Back to Christmas: The plan was for him to arrive just before our big post-Christmas dinner at Granny's house. He called me when he left Stockton to let me know he was on the road, I think he was running late, and that the ring we picked out had been sold. Mom and I were knee deep in "after Christmas sales" and I remember briefly being sad that he didn't get a ring which meant an engagement might be farther away than we had discussed. Anyway, Ryan got to Carmel in time for dinner and schmoozing with my family. After dinner the cousins typically do dishes and Ryan jumped in with everyone else (to this day he can do dishes better than anyone, he has a very specific system. Its all that sorority experience). For some strange reason we decided to do the dishes in the back house (there are two houses at Grans, one in the front, for Auntie Kate, and one in the back, for Gran) after we had just eaten in the front house. As I was drying off the last of the dishes I noticed the other cousins had left and Gran's cd player was on. Ryan had just come inside and was trying to tell me something. I was too busy trying to turn off the cd player, but where the hell was it and why was it playing "Your Song" (which happens to be our song.) Finally I found the damn thing and switched it off. Ryan grabbed my arm and lead me onto the patio, he got down on one knee and started saying something to me. Oh Crap! This is it! He's freaking proposing! I remember crying and laughing because my Dad had forgotten his one job was to put some flowers out for me and we caught him sneaking onto the patio to put them out-mid proposal. Of course I said yes. Ryan and my Mom had been talking and planning the big proposal for a few weeks. It was all very sweet and I was totally surprised.
We've been married almost 6 years now and though marriage is a huge adjustment, as is living with someone 24/7, I can honestly say that Ryan is the perfect partner for me. He allows me to be me - aside from being a mother, wife, chef, party planner, and accountant. He always encourages me and gives me space to grow. As a matter of fact he completely indulges me and my silly ideas or plans for our next life together (be on the look out bc in life #2 we will be in Vegas! He will be a famous athlete and I'll be an actress or singer.) We make a great team, as partners and parents. I'm very lucky to have him.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times where we've had our disagreements. In the beginning we had a lot of drama, especially if there was alcohol involved. And once we were married we had to deal with his crazy work schedule (I didn't mind graveyard or split shifts when we didn't have a kid but having a zombie as a parent is SUPER frustrating!) But as the years have gone by we've figured out how to make it all work - day shift, less booze (well maybe not LESS), and multiple tv's in the house.
We have big plans for our future together. My favorite includes a tour of the US via food network restaurant suggestions followed by a three month European vacation - after we ship the kids off to college of course.
* I still have to fight off the hoe's tryin to take my man. In fact just last week while we were on vacation Dad and Ryan played golf with a couple and the woman was flirting with him...IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND! Lucky for her I wasn't there to kick her ass AND she bought him a beer - POINT RYAN!
So here I am, second semester, my bf and I just broke up, in a house with my new friends - who are also single. Time to party, right? That is nearly impossible to do with people other than your fraternity friends. After a few months of fun Ryan and I found ourselves hanging out in the same circle. It really didn't take long for Ryan and I to discover that we have similar personalities that meshed well together. That summer Ryan would be leaving for a nine month internship three hours away. We talked on the phone regularly for a while and then we began casually dating.
Let me back up because Ryan is nothing like I would have pictured myself with. Ryan grew up in Stockton, he has two sisters, attended a high school that was fitted with razor wire - but offered the GATE program he was enrolled in, was in a gang - for a second, possibly sold drugs, worked throughout high school at McDonald's, he is very athletic (football, baseball, wrestling, rugby), he was nice to everyone and as such no one had (or has) anything bad to say about him, he was in a fraternity, AND his nickname was Truck (who honestly has that for a nickname?!) Clearly the type of guy I was attracted to wasn't working out so I convinced myself that I should just take a chance, like I had with everything else I'd done at college.
Those nine months seemed to go on forever. Every weekend we would switch off driving the six hours, round trip, to see each other. It was nice because during the week I had plenty of time to do school work and spend time with my friends. It was also great because he was already friends with all of mine so when he was in town he was always invited to hang out with the girls.
Within those first nine months of dating we began to talk marriage. We even went ring shopping a few weeks before Christmas. I found one I really liked but we were "just looking" figuring we'd get engaged after the holidays when he'd move back to Stockton for our last semester. I'd be leaving for Carmel that Christmas Eve and he would join me on the 26th. I thought he was just coming to meet my family and spend some vacation time with me. He had already met my parents and my Mom's side of the family - they loved him. In fact the day my Mom and Aunt met Ryan we were on our way to the movies, I had just gotten into the car and my Mom called me. She said "Your Auntie C and I like Ryan very much and we think you'll make cute babies." Gee, she didn't wait long! I'll also add that was month one or two of dating.
Back to Christmas: The plan was for him to arrive just before our big post-Christmas dinner at Granny's house. He called me when he left Stockton to let me know he was on the road, I think he was running late, and that the ring we picked out had been sold. Mom and I were knee deep in "after Christmas sales" and I remember briefly being sad that he didn't get a ring which meant an engagement might be farther away than we had discussed. Anyway, Ryan got to Carmel in time for dinner and schmoozing with my family. After dinner the cousins typically do dishes and Ryan jumped in with everyone else (to this day he can do dishes better than anyone, he has a very specific system. Its all that sorority experience). For some strange reason we decided to do the dishes in the back house (there are two houses at Grans, one in the front, for Auntie Kate, and one in the back, for Gran) after we had just eaten in the front house. As I was drying off the last of the dishes I noticed the other cousins had left and Gran's cd player was on. Ryan had just come inside and was trying to tell me something. I was too busy trying to turn off the cd player, but where the hell was it and why was it playing "Your Song" (which happens to be our song.) Finally I found the damn thing and switched it off. Ryan grabbed my arm and lead me onto the patio, he got down on one knee and started saying something to me. Oh Crap! This is it! He's freaking proposing! I remember crying and laughing because my Dad had forgotten his one job was to put some flowers out for me and we caught him sneaking onto the patio to put them out-mid proposal. Of course I said yes. Ryan and my Mom had been talking and planning the big proposal for a few weeks. It was all very sweet and I was totally surprised.
 |
| The BIG day 9/3/05 |
We've been married almost 6 years now and though marriage is a huge adjustment, as is living with someone 24/7, I can honestly say that Ryan is the perfect partner for me. He allows me to be me - aside from being a mother, wife, chef, party planner, and accountant. He always encourages me and gives me space to grow. As a matter of fact he completely indulges me and my silly ideas or plans for our next life together (be on the look out bc in life #2 we will be in Vegas! He will be a famous athlete and I'll be an actress or singer.) We make a great team, as partners and parents. I'm very lucky to have him.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times where we've had our disagreements. In the beginning we had a lot of drama, especially if there was alcohol involved. And once we were married we had to deal with his crazy work schedule (I didn't mind graveyard or split shifts when we didn't have a kid but having a zombie as a parent is SUPER frustrating!) But as the years have gone by we've figured out how to make it all work - day shift, less booze (well maybe not LESS), and multiple tv's in the house.
We have big plans for our future together. My favorite includes a tour of the US via food network restaurant suggestions followed by a three month European vacation - after we ship the kids off to college of course.
* I still have to fight off the hoe's tryin to take my man. In fact just last week while we were on vacation Dad and Ryan played golf with a couple and the woman was flirting with him...IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND! Lucky for her I wasn't there to kick her ass AND she bought him a beer - POINT RYAN!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Looking back, Part 2: Delta Delta Delta. Can I help ya, help ya, help ya?
Do you remember that reality show "Sorority Life?" It was on MTV in 2002 and followed some women pledging a local sorority in my hometown, Davis. It was highly entertaining but didn't paint sororities in a very good light. Let me summarize the show for you: once you join a sorority you get drunk a lot, cry even more, and hook up with a bunch of guys....oh and you talk about sisterhood (whatever the hell that means.) Sounds like fun? Yuck, it makes me want to go get tested for those women.
By the time I was ready to transfer to UOP this and any other sorority satire was all I knew of. I'm sure I'm not the only person that held the opinion that sororities are just women "paying for their friends." And it didn't really matter to me because I preferred to hang out with the guys, I don't like all the girl drama and I had no intention to get involved with any such business. Armed with these opinions I headed to New Student Orientation the summer of 2003. My student advisor, Molly*, just so happened to be the President of a campus sorority, but was unable to disclose which one during NSO. As she gave a group of 20+ a campus tour I worked up the courage to ask a question as we got to thebrothels sorority houses.
"Um, Molly. I have a question about your sorority. How much do you pay for your friends?" Oh, yea. I said that, with bitchy pride. Molly was very polite and not the least bit caught off guard as she answered my, very rude, question with the standard answer.
The next day I got a phone call from my Mom. "Some girl named Molly called and invited you over to the sorority house to decorate picture frames." SERIOUSLY?! No way! Do I look like I enjoy decorating picture frames in my spare time?! I am in college and there is no way I'm going to spend a night with a bunch of fake girls when I could be hanging out with my boyfriend. (Total bitch, huh?)
Days later Molly called my cell phone (thanks Mom) and invited me to play flag football with the sorority intramural team. Now we're talking! Seems innocent enough. Besides maybe I'll make a friend or two. Sign me up. Next thing I know they are inviting me over for lunch (free lunch!), giving me a tour of the house (huge and nice), taking me out to dinner (sweet), and finally offered me an invitation to join (HOLD IT, WHAT?!) I said I needed time to think and I immediately called my Mom so she could talk me out of it. She did no such thing. In fact she told me that I should go for it, what did I have to loose? (Secretly I think she was also trying to get me away from the bf I had, she didn't like him too much.)
Two days later I found myself walking towards the house on Bid Day, taking pictures with strangers, dancing to loud music on the patio, and meeting my new sisters. Eventually I became President of my pledge class, I was soon elected New Member Educator, and I would have 100+ new friends. That's not to say I got along with all of the women or even liked them all, but its the same with family right? You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. That's really what I was beginning to think of all those women as, my family. These women would accept me at my best, my worst, and my bitchiest.
Because of my decision to join a sorority it took my short time at college and amplified it. Had I not joined I wouldn't have participated in Greek Week, Derby Days, Lip Synch, gotten dressed up for formals, passed out on a house boat, played Century Club, met my best friends, or married my husband. And if you were wondering, the answer is yes. Yes there were pillow fights, cat fights, and wrestling matches. We sang, snapped, and danced. We dressed up, smoked out, stayed up late talking, and snuck boys in the house. And there may have been a time when someone was laughing so hard they pee'd in their pants (but I'm not telling who.)
I learned so much about myself, about what sisterhood really is, and about leadership. To this day I am an active alumni member of my sorority, I advise 12 chapters in the western region, and I use the skills I learned in the sorority on a daily basis and in my career as a college advisor.
I still keep in touch with many of my sisters and even though we all don't talk on a regular basis we know that there is always someone there when you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, a friend to bounce crazy ideas off of, or a sister to shoot the shit with. We've been through breakups, fall outs, marriages, babies, career changes, relocation's, birthdays, holidays, and vacations.
I will forever be grateful to my Mom for convincing me to try something new and to my sorority sisters for offering me the chance to be apart of something that will last a lifetime. This was truly a decision that would affect my life in the most positive way.
*H.H if you are reading this, I apologize for my horrible behavior that day. I'm happy that you saw through my crappy attitude and invited me to join the flag football team.
By the time I was ready to transfer to UOP this and any other sorority satire was all I knew of. I'm sure I'm not the only person that held the opinion that sororities are just women "paying for their friends." And it didn't really matter to me because I preferred to hang out with the guys, I don't like all the girl drama and I had no intention to get involved with any such business. Armed with these opinions I headed to New Student Orientation the summer of 2003. My student advisor, Molly*, just so happened to be the President of a campus sorority, but was unable to disclose which one during NSO. As she gave a group of 20+ a campus tour I worked up the courage to ask a question as we got to the
"Um, Molly. I have a question about your sorority. How much do you pay for your friends?" Oh, yea. I said that, with bitchy pride. Molly was very polite and not the least bit caught off guard as she answered my, very rude, question with the standard answer.
The next day I got a phone call from my Mom. "Some girl named Molly called and invited you over to the sorority house to decorate picture frames." SERIOUSLY?! No way! Do I look like I enjoy decorating picture frames in my spare time?! I am in college and there is no way I'm going to spend a night with a bunch of fake girls when I could be hanging out with my boyfriend. (Total bitch, huh?)
Days later Molly called my cell phone (thanks Mom) and invited me to play flag football with the sorority intramural team. Now we're talking! Seems innocent enough. Besides maybe I'll make a friend or two. Sign me up. Next thing I know they are inviting me over for lunch (free lunch!), giving me a tour of the house (huge and nice), taking me out to dinner (sweet), and finally offered me an invitation to join (HOLD IT, WHAT?!) I said I needed time to think and I immediately called my Mom so she could talk me out of it. She did no such thing. In fact she told me that I should go for it, what did I have to loose? (Secretly I think she was also trying to get me away from the bf I had, she didn't like him too much.)
Two days later I found myself walking towards the house on Bid Day, taking pictures with strangers, dancing to loud music on the patio, and meeting my new sisters. Eventually I became President of my pledge class, I was soon elected New Member Educator, and I would have 100+ new friends. That's not to say I got along with all of the women or even liked them all, but its the same with family right? You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. That's really what I was beginning to think of all those women as, my family. These women would accept me at my best, my worst, and my bitchiest.
 |
| Bid Day 2004 |
Because of my decision to join a sorority it took my short time at college and amplified it. Had I not joined I wouldn't have participated in Greek Week, Derby Days, Lip Synch, gotten dressed up for formals, passed out on a house boat, played Century Club, met my best friends, or married my husband. And if you were wondering, the answer is yes. Yes there were pillow fights, cat fights, and wrestling matches. We sang, snapped, and danced. We dressed up, smoked out, stayed up late talking, and snuck boys in the house. And there may have been a time when someone was laughing so hard they pee'd in their pants (but I'm not telling who.)
I learned so much about myself, about what sisterhood really is, and about leadership. To this day I am an active alumni member of my sorority, I advise 12 chapters in the western region, and I use the skills I learned in the sorority on a daily basis and in my career as a college advisor.
I still keep in touch with many of my sisters and even though we all don't talk on a regular basis we know that there is always someone there when you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, a friend to bounce crazy ideas off of, or a sister to shoot the shit with. We've been through breakups, fall outs, marriages, babies, career changes, relocation's, birthdays, holidays, and vacations.
I will forever be grateful to my Mom for convincing me to try something new and to my sorority sisters for offering me the chance to be apart of something that will last a lifetime. This was truly a decision that would affect my life in the most positive way.
 |
| Scorpio Pub Crawl 2009 |
*H.H if you are reading this, I apologize for my horrible behavior that day. I'm happy that you saw through my crappy attitude and invited me to join the flag football team.
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