Week 36...is it just me or is time slowing down?

SERIOUSLY?! 4 weeks left? You have GOT to be kidding me.

Don't get me wrong, in no way am I prepared for Cash to make an appearance. I still have to put together his room, do laundry, pack my hospital bag and write a ton of thank you notes (everyone has been so generous). Not to mention he still has some baking to do. But that doesn't mean that physically I'm not ready. As I sit here typing Cash is creeping up further into my rib cage making it hard to breathe. Later I'm sure he will tap his foot to the radio, elbow my side, head butt my bladder, and scratch at my cervix...all in a days work for him. Physically I am ready. Done. Tapped out. My clothes are getting shorter and shorter while my belly gets wider. The level of uncomfortable increases each day. Really I ask you: how can your feet ache first thing in the morning?! Literally the first few steps each morning are painful. On the flip side; I could be aching in other places or not getting any sleep. Its a trade off.

It has now gotten to the point where the most common question used to be "when's your due date?" and now its "when's your last day of work?" and "have you picked a name yet?" To which I reply "whenever the water breaks." and "no names until I see the baby in person." Don't get me wrong, these are all logical and very reasonable questions....

Thanks to:
my gigantic belly (slight exaggeration)
my tiny/uncomfortable work chair (it only seems that way when I'm pregnant)
summer desk job (summer=no kids=no activities=boring)
and 103 degree weather
I now suffer from "low back pain, squished uterus, restless fetus, and swollen limb syndrome" (See pregnant)
And for these reasons I can HUG my amazing Dr (or 15, seeing as I'm a Kaiser patient) for putting me on "modified work duty" (i.e I only work 4 out of 5 days a week.)

So for the last two weeks I've been trying to relax and stay off my feet (per Dr's orders). The problem is this technically sets me back because in reality I should start walking now and not turn back until I'm fully dilated, something I like to call "Forest-Gumping-It."

And if I was to leave work at the four week mark (like now) as some women do, my day would look something like it did this past Monday:
7 am: wake up, breakfast in bed with Jake, take him to school
8 am: make smoothie and english muffin, watch Real Housewives of NYC and NJ
10 am: nap
12 pm: peddle around in baby's room, make a bigger mess than necessary, think about doing laundry
1 pm: make 32 oz milk shake and panini. Eat with Ruffles and onion dip.
1:15 pm: catch up on SYTYCD
3 pm: convince Zach to blow up my floatie so I can lounge in the pool, wrestle into unflattering bathing suit
3:20 pm: float in pool
4 pm: "sweep" backyard
4:10 pm: float in pool
6 pm: slop together some kind of dinner
7 pm: lather, rinse, repeat
8 pm: due to total exhaustion crawl into bed and doze off while watching movie
Now see, I realize this sounds totally amazing (and it was) but it's completely unconducive to coaxing a baby to come out sooner rather than later. And this is the only reason I'll be at work until the very end. Waddling from the parking lot to the office, sweating like a beast, and making dramatic noises as Cash swims laps in my uterus.

Parenting fail and our new favorite past time

I come from a town with multiple community pools. There is almost no need to have your own when you have so many to choose from. I'm not much of a swimmer but when its 90+ outside I'd rather be wading in the pool than anything else. I don't know how they did it but the Central Valley has managed to only offer community pools at the gym, which are indoors and used mostly for lap swim, or limited hours at the local high school - neither are my idea of fun.

One of my stipulations looking for a rental this year was it had to have a pool. I refused to suffer through another summer without one (especially being super pregnant.) We got lucky and found the perfect house complete with a nice pool and backyard for entertaining (because I'm totally going to want to do that with a new baby :p). 

Prior to our family vacation to Myrtle Beach, Jake never really liked to swim - let alone take a bath. We got lucky and our condo had an amazing pool area for kids fit with a lazy river, water fountains and mini pools. Ryan even got Jake to go in the ocean and jump around with the waves. 

first time at the pool - 6 months

second time swimming - 2 1/2 years. Notice the clinginess?

3 years old and ready to tackle the ocean! 

It took a few weeks to get the pool clean and working - due to poor landscaping we have multiple gigantic pine trees that shed constantly leaving the pool a mess and cooler than usual - but now we are in full swimming mode. The first few times we hung out by the pool we just put our feet in or stayed near the stairs. Since we had no intention of submerging ourselves we went out fully clothed. It wasn't long before Jake would get soaking wet from splashing around. My immediate thought was for him to strip and run around naked. This was a huge mistake because now he is under the impression that swimming should only be done in the nude. 

This the only appropriate picture I can put up...for now. We are getting there. Michael Phleps better look out!

We've also been potty training for the last 6 months. Its come to the point where anything we do is prefaced with "do you need to go potty first?" One day as we were getting ready to put our feet in the pool I told Jake he needed to go to the bathroom first. His response was "I don't need to." When I jokingly suggested that he could go on the palm tree in the backyard he whipped it out and began peeing before I could even finish my sentence. Hey, he may look like Ryan but he's got my instincts. 

So this summer you can find us swimming in the pool-wrestling Jake into a swim suit-and peeing in the backyard (its better than in the pool, right?) It just goes to show that one tiny decision can produce major consequences. 

Neurotic parent seeking babysitter

Employment Opportunity

Position: Part time babysitter
Qualified applicant to start work immediately


Essential Duties: Under the general supervision of Mom and Dad, this position will provide varied child care for a 3 year old and (in the near future) infant. Duties include, but not limited to:
Assisting with continual potty training, daily naps, possible bathing and bed time, future diaper changes, tummy time, feeding
Preparing healthy and nutritious snack/meals (juice, candy and sweets not applicable)
Encourage and support daily daycare concepts 
Assist in transportation to and from daycare
Must demonstrate abilities to interact with imaginary friends and engage in pretend play
Frequent trips to park, miniature golf course, and Costco


Special preference given to those who: clean up after themselves and don't eat all the food in the house.


Qualifications: 
18-20 years old
HS graduate
local college student (or future college student) preferred
Must have reliable transportation with current vehicle insurance as well as current health insurance


Specialized Skills and Abilities:
CPR/First Aid certified
Former lifeguard/swim teacher preferred
Arts and Crafts "guru"
Bi-lingual preferred and not limited to a specific language
Fluent in American Sign Language 
Ability to part from your cell phone and social networking while working


Benefits/Pay:
Employer sponsored CPR and First Aid training and renewal if necessary
Vacation employment to include: travel, lodging, food paid by employer
$10/hr


Please note: I have the right to judge you based on your facebook/twitter profiles. 
Your girlfriend/boyfriend or children need not accompany you to work.




Someone please reassure me that this is not too much to expect from a sitter....anyone?

After 3 years of asking our parents and Jake's teachers to babysit I have finally taken to leap and asked one of my students to babysit. This has been a LONG time coming and I've been dreading it. We have an event coming up next weekend and after asking two of Jake's preschool teachers (both unavailable) while refusing to ask our parents, I was randomly approached by one of my students offering to babysit. I have been told by many students, in the past, that they would be more than willing to babysit for me but I never took them seriously - that is until now. I am at the point of desperation and it's time for me to cut the cord.

I've spent time researching local sitters before. I checked out Craigslist (if I wanted a child molester), looked through the newspaper (see craigslist comment), checked out CPR/First Aid classes (if I wanted to hire a 13 year old), asked other parents (my friends either have no kids or older kids who don't need a sitter) and signed up for a few of those babysitter websites (if I was looking for a 40 year old who has their own kids and probably has their own ideas about how I should raise my kids). I've even considered asking my students. The problem with this is while I know they are qualified/educated enough to get into college that doesn't mean they are educated enough to navigate proper Facebook postings. Seriously, if I was their parents I would be appalled at some of their daily activities. BUT as my own Mom pointed out, it's not like I didn't engage in similar (or worse) activities, I was just fortunate enough to not have social media to track my debauchery for all the world (an future employers) to judge.

After grilling Gabe for 30 min on her qualifications and previous experience I suggested that she come over to meet Jake and Ryan this Sunday. She was at our house for 2 hours and it was only in the last 15 minutes that Jake finally opened up and started talking and playing with her. When she left he was actually sad to see her go but excited to play with her this weekend (SCORE!) I'll be so relieved and happy if this works out because it would be nice to be able to know that not only Jake can meet new people but that I can do it! (But really, I am well aware that its me and not Jake.)